A Year Had Passed Without Ricardo

Ian was having breakfast this morning when he told me that his dad visited him in his dreams. I was so excited that I started asking him what he could remember. He said not much, but that his dad was back alive! He couldn’t remember hugs and kisses but it seemed to be such a great experience that I kept asking and talking about it. What a gift!

Then, I found this link on Facebook: How to talk to kids about death – I don’t agree with her approach in telling a lie to the kids, but the comments are almost better than the article itself. The comments lead me to find this You Tube video and even if I don’t know what I believe, I find it fascinating to hear the stories this nurse has to share:

On Sunday, January 5th, I went to a Buddhist monastery with Ian, in Calgary. That day, a year ago, Ricardo passed away and I thought it was appropriate to go to a monastery to pray for him. Ian was afraid, if this is the word, and very cautious about the whole experience. I respected him as much as I could, so we spent just a few minutes there, but enough for me to feel good about it.

Many friends sent me messages about the year anniversary and a service was held in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, for him, requested by his parents. I spent a few days a bit overwhelmed by the feeling, the grief, the longing. I still can feel him, hear his voice and jokes, and yet his physical presence is not here for a whole year – a complete cycle leaving space for another one to start.