Sleep Wisdom: Four Concepts That Changed My Relationship with Rest

Revenge Bedtime Procrastination: Taking Back Your Time

Revenge bedtime procrastination occurs when someone deliberately stays up late to reclaim time lost during a busy day. It’s essentially a way of asserting control and experiencing freedom during quiet evening hours.

Who hasn’t done this before? Please, raise your hands! I’m pleased to report that I now primarily engage in this behavior only when I have nothing scheduled the following morning. However, I certainly did this in my younger years, even before workdays—definitely not the wisest choice. The next day inevitably demands payment for such nighttime extravagance!

Night Anxiety: When Sleep Becomes a Mathematical Equation

Experiencing anxiety when lying down to sleep can stem from stress, anxiety disorders, or other health conditions. My personal night anxiety begins the moment I start calculating my remaining sleep hours. Ironically, I always calculate as if I’ll fall asleep within the next five minutes. As you might expect, this never actually happens!

I’m happy to share that my sleep coach and smartwatch have significantly reduced my night anxiety—truly excellent progress!

Sleep Hygiene: The Foundation of Restful Nights

Sleep hygiene encompasses healthy habits that promote better sleep. These practices have proven immensely helpful in my experience, and I strongly advise against ignoring them.

Creating an optimal sleep environment involves maintaining a quiet, dark, and cool bedroom. Equally important is establishing a consistent sleep schedule by going to bed and waking up at the same time daily, even on weekends.

Managing what enters your body makes a significant difference—avoid substances that disrupt sleep, such as nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol, particularly before bedtime. Similarly, heavy meals close to bedtime can interfere with sleep quality.

Your pre-sleep routine matters tremendously. Consider avoiding electronic devices (especially those emitting blue light) within an hour of bedtime. Instead, engage in relaxation activities like reading, listening to soft music, or meditation. Regular exercise supports better sleep, though it’s best to avoid strenuous physical activity within two hours of bedtime.

Additional helpful practices include using blackout shades or an eye mask to block light, employing white noise or earplugs to minimize sound disturbances, and avoiding long naps, especially in the evening. I talk about this on my previous post.

Mental Load: The Invisible Work Behind Daily Life

Mental load refers to the unseen cognitive and emotional labor required to manage a household, anticipate needs, and make decisions—responsibilities often disproportionately carried by one person.

This concept encompasses tasks that aren’t physically performed but require planning, organization, and decision-making. Examples include meal planning, scheduling, remembering appointments, managing finances, and coordinating household activities. The burden extends to knowing each family member’s schedule, preferences, and needs, while ensuring everyone is properly cared for.

The weight of mental load can lead to stress, burnout, and overwhelming feelings, particularly for the primary household manager. This extends beyond home life into professional realms, where managing work tasks, attending meetings, and tracking deadlines creates additional cognitive burden.

Before we had a term for “mental load,” I had a revealing conversation with my late husband. I asked if he ever considered how orange juice mysteriously appeared in the refrigerator whenever he wanted it.

Our counselor provided us with a three-page list of household responsibilities, and his reaction was priceless. He became the guardian of that list, examining it with genuine astonishment as he realized the sheer volume of tasks required simply to maintain daily life. He admitted, “I don’t know one man who does it all.”

Miraculously, after this revelation, the garbage began leaving our house without my prompting.