Grief Has No Finish Line: Living with Loss, Year After Year

Have you ever been told to “move on” or hurry your grief along? As if it has a due date? That’s something many of us face—as though loss fits neatly on a calendar.

But grief isn’t linear. It doesn’t have a start and end like a chapter in a book. Like many life-changing experiences, it reshapes us. We grow around it. It becomes a part of us, not something we leave behind.

When my husband passed away over 12 years ago, our son was only five. I learned then that children revisit their grief as they grow, with each new stage of life adding layers to their understanding. And I believe adults do too—not because our comprehension deepens, but because life continues to change around us. Grief doesn’t stay in one shape. It rises and falls with our seasons.

My son is now 18 and just graduated from high school. That day—so full of pride and joy—also brought a wave of grief I hadn’t felt in a long time. It hit me like it was yesterday. How much I wished my husband could’ve stood beside me, watching his son, almost a man, take on the world with curiosity, humor, and drive. It was bittersweet beyond words.

My husband is still very present in our lives. We speak of him often. His stories live on in our home, and his spirit echoes through my son—his laugh, his tenacity, his love for movement and people. A friend once told me: “We don’t really die when we leave children behind—we live on through them.” I feel that every day.

There’s no right or wrong way to grieve. No timeline, no end point. Grief, like love, is part of life. It’s not a problem to be solved—it’s a feeling to be honored. We need to normalize that. To permit ourselves to feel what we feel, when we feel it.

Even now, my emotions shift depending on what life brings. I welcome the memories and the ache. I welcome his presence when it shows up. It reminds me of our love, our shared dreams, our life together.

And if you’re walking through your own version of this, I want you to know: I see you. You’re not alone.

If you feel drawn to talk, I’d be honored to hold that space with you. Click the button below to book a 30-minute discovery call—let’s sit with our feelings, together.