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Helena Artmann has a bachelor degree in Communications with a vast experience in PR and the online world. Before moving to Canada in 2005, Helena published a variety of articles in Brazilian magazines and websites, mostly about travel, adventure, outdoor, gear, environment and her favourite activities, mountaineer and hot air ballooning. This is her website: http://artmanncommunications.com

How Can I Get Through to You?

Terry RealAfter more than two years, I finally had my last counselling session. My counselor mentioned before that I was ready to go ahead without her but just now I was confident enough to keep walking without her support. It was quite an interesting journey. Apparently, for both of us. She used to say that I was one of her best ‘students’, very keen in learning new tricks and find out all the ‘whys’ I had in this period of my life. I started seeing Suzanne when Ricardo was still alive and my relationship with Nick was just at the beginning.

During those two years and a few months, Suzanne saw me in so many phases and assisted me in answering so many questions that is overwhelming just to think about it. She helped me go through Ricardo’s illness and passing. She helped me with my son and she helped me immensely in my new relationship with Nick, suggesting my other counsellor, Ken, from YWCA in Banff (Ken is specialized in couples counselling). But, above all, she helped me with my relationship with myself and it is a pleasure to see how my self-esteem is healing and, why not, healthy!

If not a communicator, I would have likened to become a psychologist. I am fascinated about all things related to it hence being a ‘good student’. I keep reading and learning and healing, as I will not study to become a psychologist for now. The recent book that resonates the most is the one still on my bedside table: How Can I Get Through to You? Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women, by Terrence Real. Terry Real is a fabulous family therapist and his book opened my eyes in a way that just Women Who Love Too Much did, years ago.

I remember Nick asking me when he would demand anything from me but I, on the other hand, was very demanding. I couldn’t answer him. But Terry can…

I remember Nick telling me that no relationship will ever be perfect. I could understand him but couldn’t accept it for my life. Terry showed me how…

I learned that Nick and me were always trying to explain everything to each other. ‘You can be right or you can be married’, says Terry about something that he calls ‘perception battle’, a huge waste of energy. No wonder I was always exhausted!

There is much more to this book than I can fill in one blog post, so I invite you to read it. Hopefully, you will have as much fun as I am having and will find a few answers on the way.

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